Instead of focusing on blame, focus on solutions.
1) Identify a problem.
2) Brainstorm for as many solutions as possible.
3) Pick one that works for everyone.
4) Try the solution for a week.
5) In a week, evaluate. If it didn’t work start over.
What a great message we would be sending our children if we could really practice this tool card. Blame usually creates resentment and resistance from our children. I know that I often tell my children what they are doing wrong, but I rarely work with them on a solution. Or better yet, help them brainstorm for a solution on their own.
I think I will post this tool card in every room so I am reminded to focus on solutions during the week. That will be my mantra this week and I will see if it is a more effective way to solve problems.