I'm sitting down to write this blog entry having just yelled at my kids for leaving the milk out. It went something like this... "WHY CAN'T YOU KIDS PUT THINGS AWAY AND PICK UP AFTER YOURSELF!!! IT'S AFTERNOON AND YOU'RE SITTING AROUND IN YOUR PAJAMAS! YOU'RE LAZY AND GOOD FOR NOTHING!!!"
Does any of that sound familiar? I don't usually lose it that bad, but I guess with all the holiday pressure I have hit my breaking point. Which brings me to the topic of this post. I have decided to spend the year of 2010 improving my parenting skills. To do this I will be utilizing the Positive Discipline Tool Cards pictured to the right. There are 52 Tool Cards and so I will be focusing on one tool card per week. My hope is that I can not only improve my parenting skills, but also improve my relationship with my children. If you would like to follow along, go ahead and click on the link and order your own set of tool cards.
If you do decide to join me, you will need to agree to the following terms.
1. We are entering this adventure with very low expectations. I find that whenever I decide to try something new with my children, I will often get more discouraged because it doesn't work right away. In fact, sometimes things will get worse before they get better. So it is important that we focus on the long-term results.
2. We will be consistent. Each Sunday we will choose a new tool card to work on for the following week.
3. We will involve our children. Instead of using these tool cards "on" our children, we will involve them in the process and use the tool cards "with" our children. Children are much more willing to cooperate when they feel like they are part of the process.
4. We will have a sense of humor. In the words of Bill Cosby, "Kids have brain damage". If you have children, then you know that kids often do inexplicable things. Trying to make sense of it is futile. So having a good sense of humor is mandatory.
5. We will be honest. If something works, we will share. If something doesn't work, we will share. Parenting is difficult and nobody is perfect. So we won't be pretending to be perfect. We will all be trying to improve together.
I will be choosing the first tool card on Sunday, January 3rd. I am looking forward to this new adventure!
I'm really looking forward to this and am telling everyone I know.
Brad I remember when you were a little boy and I loved having you and your family come to my house.
You are so blessed to have children because they will bring you so much joy. The best advice your mother ever gave me was to enjoy my children. "You can't do anything about yesterday and you don't need to worry about tomorrow, but you can enjoy the moment." Believe me they will go by so fast. Create good memories. I will continue to enjoy reading about your activities and I will be rooting for you! Love, Colleen
PS You are welcome to come and see us and stay with us anytime.
I was researching positive discipline and came across your blog post. I'm in!!! I'm so excited to try out these cards. I too want to improve my relationship with my boys and yell less. Thank you for this challenge!
thank you, will do my best to follow and contribute. Indeed difficult times should be confronted with innovative solutions
Congratulations on your 1st step forward with this! Yes I too am excited to follow these cards and your experience and valuable advise! Will be cheering you ! God bless.
Todd, my husband, and I are in! We learned of your blog from Jane Nelsen and it is a wonderful challenge. We are both big believers in Positive Discipline and have seen it work in our family. We look forward to joining the challenge and to sharing our honest successes and failures!
We do a parenting online radio show www.parentingunpluggedradio.com and would love to have you join us on the show to chat about the challenge.
Check the show out and shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org
Hi Brad. What a great idea! Sounds like a true challange! I'm on board!
I'm excited about the response. This is gonna be fun!
Looking forward to your weekly blogs on Positive Discipline - We are big fans of the books here at ChildLight Yoga (http://www.childlightyoga.com). Hoping to share the wisdom you and the cards provide through our blog at The Kids Yoga Resource (http://www.thekidsyogaresource.com) as well. Thank you!
Great idea, Brad! We've only done one every Sunday for the last 3 weeks and would be happy to go along with you as well. Should we just plan on checking your blog regularly? Or following each other on twitter? Or starting a Facebook group? I'm in for whatever you decide.
Hi, I placed my order and can't wait to get the cards and other cd workshop items. I have read the book and put some things into practice, but I realize I need more tools to help me be consistent. I have 6 children ages, 11, 8, 6, 4, and a set of twins 2 years old. I stay home with them and homeschool so it gets crazy with the complaints from them! I can't wait to learn more with the tool cards and from others experiences on your blog. Thanks for starting this...
Wow!!! I would like to thank Born to Mother for helping me to feel much less overwhelmed. You are my new hero! :)
Brad, I can't wait. If a single dad likes the tool cards and can put them to work, the sky's the limit. I'm already a big fan of your blog, so I'll be looking forward to more laughs from you.
What a great idea, I'm going to try this too.
I'm going to try this. I took Teaching Parenting the PD Way last March and fell in love. I buy a book for every one I know that is having a child. I've never blogged before (still not sure I know what a blog is) but I will follow along. I'm ordering my tool cards now.
I have been learning Positive Discipline tools for years by reading your mom's books, listening to CD's, and recently purchasing the Parenting Tool Cards. I have been wanting to have some kind of support in this effort and am so excited about this on-line sharing with other parents striving to be the best parents they can be. I am married to a fabulous man and we have a 10-year-old boy, 6-year-old girl, and a 1-year-old chocolate lab (our third child)! We look forward to doing this as a family . . .
I look forward to starting 2010 with the tool cards. I have three friends joining me in this journey and we just ordered the cards yesterday. Our children are young but we are hoping for some great help and insights. Thank you for sharing the experience.
What a great idea for the new year! I wish you much success. Check out my blog for an article I penned today on a similar subject.
I just got my cards yesterday with my other PD books. I was thinking of doing a card a week and then I saw the post on the Positive Discipline blog that you were going to do this.
I am so excited that I won't be doing it alone!
Sounds great! Im in! will pop back around the 3rd to see what the first tool is. (:
I'm in! Going to look for a way to get email reminders - I found out about this from your mom's email newsletter, which I love. My kiddos are 8, 6, 6, and 3, homeschooled. Best wishes and thanks in advance for the inspiration!
i like this idea..
and am glad to see you interested in trying out tools..
something else I have also found to help me in the journey of interacting in a healthy way with my children is trying to also practice some of the cnvc tools of figuring out what needs and feelings I am having. these two links helped me a little bit with that to add, so i thought i'd share it:
www.cnvc.org and nvctraining.com/nvclive/index.html
I hope you remember to have compassion for yourself when you do no do exactly what you want to do. sending out incredilbe encouragement to you and this beautiful journey you on.
Thank you Brad - this is the perfect way to start 2010!!! I am so excited to bring my husband and kids into the "Tool Card Transformation" as well :) Maybe we should turn this into a group on the PD network site?
You are an inspiration - Casey
We're in! We're introducing the idea at our family meeting today. I'm hoping that people are excited about the challenge but am remembering to keep the expectations low :)
Just wondering if the tool cards will be available as a download, as I am in Canada and the shipping cost works out to be more than the cards!
That's a great idea. I've added a group on http://positivediscipline.ning.com
Hey there...Brad, this is an amazing concept, and I would be interested in using some of your material for my Early Childhood workshops... would this be a possibility?
Thanks... Lois Wachtel
Brad, I wrote a blog post about your "52 Cards" and provided a link to your blog. I used your picture on my blog. I thought it would be okay. If not, let me know.
Yes Kelly, that is fine to use my picture. Thanks for posting the article. And Lois, it is fine to use the information in your workshops. Please give credit to the source and authors. Thanks
Yeah! I'm in and looking forward to sharing this adventure. I look forward to learning so much!
I just lock my kids out of their rooms until they behave nicely.
I will try this 52 card technique because it is a Positive Interactive method. It encourages cooperation.
Whats up everyone, I just registered on this amazing forum and desired to say hi there! Have a extraordinary day!
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