Sunday, May 9, 2010
Positive Discipline Tool Card - Show Faith
When we show faith in our children they develop courage and faith in themselves.
1) Instead of rescuing, lecturing, or fixing, say, “I have faith in you to handle this.”
2) Children develop their problem-solving skills and disappointment muscles through experiences.
3) Validate feelings: “I know you are upset. I would be too. And, I have faith in you.”
This Positive Discipline Tool Card talks about showing faith in our children so they can develop courage and faith in themselves. But I think this tool card will do a lot more to help parents develop courage and faith. Let's face it...having faith in our children takes A LOT of courage. How many times do we jump in and rescue our children because we know they are about to struggle, only to see that deflated look on their face. We as parents are expecting gratitude for our benevolence, and yet we have only succeeded in crushing the self-esteem of our children.
Having faith in our children is only the beginning. Will we also have the courage to keep our mouths shut and allow our children to experience the consequences of their actions? Will we allow them to discover a solution on their own? Or will we "should" all over them and make them feel incompetent?
This is not an easy parenting skill to master. It is a good follow-up to the Curiosity Questions tool card because asking curiosity questions is a great way to help our children discover their own capabilities. The biggest deterrence for parents is that we love convenience and efficiency. Showing faith in our children can be messy and very inconvenient. But remember, we are focusing on long-range results.