Decide what you will do, instead of engaging in power struggles, to invite cooperation and change.
1) Plan what you will do and notify in advance:
“When the table is set I will serve dinner.”
“I will help with homework on Tues. and Thurs., but not last minute”
“When chores are done I will drive you to your friend’s house.”
2) Follow through on your plan with kindness and firmness.
I think the key to this tool card is the "notify in advance" part. I think kids thrive in an environment of structure where they know what to expect. I have to admit that this is not necessarily my strong suit. I have admitted before in this blog, that I tend to be more reactionary than proactive. But I am trying to remedy that situation by using the tool cards.
I'm trying to think of a specific situation when I could use this in the coming week, but I am having trouble thinking of one. Maybe somebody else can help me with an example. I will also be interested to hear what Dr. Jane Nelsen has to say about this topic.