When I first read the Positive Discipline Tool Card on "Routines" my immediate reaction was, "There is no way this will work with teenagers." And I think that is probably true if you try to apply the tool card exactly as it is written. So I approached it a different way with my daughter. Instead of trying to create a routine chart with her, I invited her to come up with a routine chart on her own. She is very creative and without any input from me, she came up with the following.
The items on her chart are the things that are important to her. When children become teenagers, they are beginning to establish their own priorities. So I let her decide what those priorities would be. It will be fun to see how well this works for her.
I should probably explain the "Dice Chore" entry. We have come up with a method of doing chores in our family that is kind of fun for the kids. Every day they roll the dice and see which number comes up. The number on the dice corresponds to a chore for that day. They also have the opportunity to roll a "6" which is a free day with no chores. We just started this a couple weeks ago, and so far it has been very successful. Except when my son rolls a "2" which corresponds with dishes. He needs a little extra encouragement with that chore because he absolutely despises doing the dishes. :-)
You are a very CREATIVE family! Wonderful!!!
And congrats to Emma for her fantastic Must-Do Chart... let seen if it inspires some people around here.
I like the dice idea! I did the choices-wheel with my daughter (4yo), but she wanted to "roll again" when it's something she didn't like, kind of like your son. So I wonder what extra encouragement you give to your son when it's 2? many thanks!
When my kids are complaining, I usually will help them with the chore. For example: I will rinse the dishes while my son washes them. Kids are pretty good about cooperating when you meet them halfway.
Brad, Thanks for your post. I really need to "just do it" and get more routines gong for my kids. I like your idea of meeting them half way. When I asked my kids to put away their clean laundry into their drawers, they complained and said it was too hard (it is actually hard sorting between pants, shirts, etc). I told my son (11) to only do 10 pieces of clothing and that worked. I told my daughter (9) to do the same, and she ended up putting the whole basket full into the drawers! I was pleasantly surprised!
We use routine charts for our kids and it works a treat. They've had the wipeable ones from SmartyPantsKids. I do think my nearly 10 year old son is old enough to come up with his own priority list now so I might start implementing this like you've suggested. I LOVE the chore dice by the way. Awesome idea!!
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