Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Positive Discipline Tool Card - Five Criteria
Make sure your discipline methods meet the Five Criteria for Positive Discipline.
1) Is kind and firm at the same time.
2) Creates a sense of belonging and significance.
3) Is effective long-term.
4) Teaches valuable social and life skills.
5) Teaches children to use their power constructively and to discover they are capable.
Punishment does not meet any of these criteria.
I would like to add two more items to that list that I have found to be absolutely essential.
#1 - Make sure the message of love gets through! This is really the engine that drives Positive Discipline. You can become an expert at all 52 parenting tools and still fail miserably if you don't make sure the message of love gets through. I know this to be true because many times this past year I have forgotten this concept and tried to implement the tools without love. It never works and creates resistance from my children.
#2 - Have regular family meetings. If "making sure the message of love gets through" is the engine, then "family meetings" are the fuel. Sitting down each week to plan ahead and allow for problem-solving has been the most effective part of implementing a new parenting strategy. My children look forward to the weekly family meetings and everything tends to fall apart when we miss our weekly family meeting. And remember to start you family meetings with compliments to set a positive tone.