Sunday, April 11, 2010

Positive Discipline Tool Card - Teach Children What To Do

Instead of telling young children what NOT to do, teach them what they CAN do.

1) Instead of, “Don’t hit,” teach, “Touch nicely,” and demonstrate.
2) After teaching, remind by asking,  “How do you touch nicely?”
3) Teach about throwing the ball outside. Then remind by asking, “Where do you throw the ball?”
4) Instead of, “Don’t touch the lamp,” say, “You can play with the pans.”


Okay parents with young children...this tool card is for you. I guess this could work for teenagers, but you might have to just reverse the statements since teenagers tend to do the opposite of what you say. So instead of "Please don't bug your sister." say "You should bug your sister more often because that really makes me happy and brings such a positive spirit into our home." Or instead of "Please clean your room" say "I really like what you've done with your room. Maybe we could start spending all of our family time in here?"

4 comments:

Karen said...

Hmmm....okay, I'm trying to think about how I'll use this card with my older kids.

I'm thinking that it will probably be helpful with how we treat each other. If we are modeling respectful behaviour to start with, we can reinforce the positive behaviour we'd like to see.

Also, reminders on how to speak to one another. "I'd love to listen to what you have to say when you can speak to me calmly".

What ideas does everyone else have for using this card with older children?

Dr. Jane Nelsen said...

Instead of, "Don't bug your sister," how about, "What could you do to be voted the best brother in the world?" Instead of, "Clean your room," how about, "Let's decide together on a few clean up times when we set a timer and all see how much cleaning we can get done in 10 minutes?" The idea is to create an atmosphere that invites cooperation. Giving orders usually invites resistance. :-)

Karen said...

Jane, whenever I read your comments I think "Of course, that makes perfect sense"! I wonder how many times I need to re-read PD until this all becomes second nature :)

Ms. Shantell said...

This is a great tool! This tool not only invites cooperation, it also invites a positive attitude. I find myself referencing the PD A-Z book often. I wish I could just fit it into my pocket ;-)