I'm feeling a lot of parenting guilt right now! As I've mentioned before, it's impossible as a single parenting to do everything and to be everywhere. I actually became a much happier parent once I realized this fact and stopped trying to do it all. There are often times when you have two commitments at the same time and can't do both. These situations don't usually cause guilt. But when you have somewhere you want to be and somewhere you should be...that's when the guilt kicks in.
This weekend was tough because I had two sick kids. So I was trying to nurse the sick kids back to health and take care of my usual responsibilities as well as a couple of additional work responsibilities. So I was running back and forth getting Saltines and 7-up, taking care of the work responsibilities, cleaning up puke, and so forth.
But part of being a successful single parent is finding time for breaks to recharge your battery. So my 8 year old daughter seemed to be feeling better and my 10 year old son was also on the mend. They still weren't eating much, but I thought it would be safe to head out to dinner. Unfortunately I was out of cell phone range. So it wasn't until I was on my way home that my cell phone started lighting up and sounding off with voicemail and missed calls. I immediately checked the three messages on my phone and they were all from my 10 year old son informing me that his sister had started throwing up and wondering when I would be home. The GUILT kicked in immediately.
I rushed home to find them both sleeping soundly in front of the television. Everything was fine, but I still feel this overwhelming guilt. I guess it comes with the territory. I know I should have been there. And I feel awful that I wasn't able to answer the phone when my son called. So I'll be going to bed tonight with a heavy heart. And I'll be making a new commitment to do better in the future. Sometimes it's hard doing it alone!!! :-(
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